She's Dangerous On The Dance Floor-DAAAAANGEROUS!

I went to another bar on Rush St.. First of all screw me for thinking I’m going to have a good time on Rush St. That’s the area in Chicago where low-self esteem and drunk hot mess form together like Voltron to form the UltimateDisappointment-Bot. I don’t know why I allow myself into situations like that. I’d rather watch Schindler’s List The Musical! in DTS digital surround sound than be in any bar/club in that area. The Club was called Ricky Go Fuck Yourself so now you know which one to avoid if you ever get harpooned into that stankskankfest.
Women at the club. On the dance floor in particular. Not all of you. I’m talking to you ladies who have no concept of self out there. What are you doing? Really? You look like you’re hurting yourself. It’s not that serious. What are you poppin’ ass to? Why are you booty shaking to any damn song that the DJ plays? Liiiiiisten. It’s Simon and Garfunkel’s “Cecilia” not the Ying Yang Twins “The Whisper Song”. You’ve taken the line “You’re breakin’ my heart, You’re down on your knees” from “Cecilia” to skankalicious levels not known possible. Get a hold of yourself. Take it easy. Out there poppin’ booty like your ass has a disease and the Freakadeak behind you has the antidote. And hey will you turn around everyonce in a while and see who you are letting jack you up. It’s my man who still thinks it’s a good idea to wear pink polos. Homeboy! Kanye don’t even wear pink polos no’ mo’! My man ain’t trying to dance with you-he’s trying his best to be an Alien chestburster except he’s going in through your ass and ripping out through your shoulder blades. And he’s giving me the thumbs up about it! He’s doing the Patrick Bateman American Psycho hit it from the back slicking his hair back flexing his muscles move. And sister what are you doing? You look like you’re hurting yourself. Poppin’ ass like it’s going out of business. Looking like a reject from a 1986 Luther Campbell & 2 Live Crew video. That’s how ridiculous you look. If I was Luther Campbell at the height of my fame and about to shoot the video “Me So Horny”, I would say thanks but no skanks to you.