Hey Have You Seen That New Tyson Trailer?

If you're a fan of boxing you've probably asked, heard, or had to answer the question, who would win in a fight? Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson? Well now if you're a fan of boxing documentaries you'll be able to ask, who has a better documentary, Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson? This here is the trailer to Tyson. You know what I respect about Tyson? We always hear from Tyson in his own words. The sound bytes and ear bites (no I din't!) always come from Tyson. That's why it's always so easy for me to believe the sane, the insane, and the reeeeeally fu@&ing crazy things that he's said in the past. The only time I was being surprised by something involving Mike Tyson was when he lost a fight. I thought I'd lose my virginity before Tyson lost a fight. Insert your own joke here.
First thing I noticed about the Tyson trailer. This trailer is longer than all of Tyson's championship fights during his heydey. Second thing I noticed, I am still scared as hell of Mike Tyson. I'm not gonna bad mouth him at all during this. His fist might rip through this computer and crack my head open like BLADA!!! Just thinking of getting hit by Tyson makes my eye twitch. Remember how Tyson would walk into the ring? White towel or T-shirt, black trunks, black boots, and Welcome To The Terrordome blasting through the speakers. I'd crap my shorts then knock myself out if I saw that dude walking towards me. Hey you Chuck Norris fans? You know who Chuck Norris don't mess with? Iron Mike Tyson.
I've always felt boxing works better on screen as a documentary than as a biopic. As good as the boxing scenes looked in a movie like Michael Mann's Ali, it still sucked. I'll say it again in a most intelligent matter so you aren't confused, Ali sucks. If you want to see a movie about Muhammad Ali watch When We Were Kings. I'm sorry? Say again. You haven't seen that? I don't know you skillet. I do not. If you haven't seen When We Were Kings put it at the top of your Netflix pero right now. As your consigliere I'd say that's in the best interest of the family.
I hope Tyson is every bit as good as Kings. I doubt it will be. The fact that James Toback is directing it doesn't get me excited. Toback directed Black & White which was supposed to be this inside look at hip hop culture and how young white kids are fascinated by it. Instead it was a hot mess. You know what's worse than seeing an awful movie in the theater? Seeing an awful movie with only one other person in the theater. We kept looking at each other, "Should I leave? Are you gonna leave? If you'll stay I'll stay? What the hell is New York Knick Allen Houston doing in this movie?". The only thing that I remember enjoying from Black & White? A cameo from Mike Tyson. And it's not a funny cameo like the one Tyson has in the current trailer for The Hangover. It's a scary cameo that shows Mike being....well Mike. James Toback is a well known fan of Mike Tyson so I'm hoping he gives Mike the proper film he deserves. If not then Toback better not answer the door when Mike shows up and asks why his movie doesn't look so splendiferouth or his quotes don't sound more combuthtible? Just kidding Mike.