Hey Have You Seen That Old Trailer?

Hey Hey Hey! Happy April Fools Day. I got no jokes lets just get right into it. Oooh I'm excited for this one kids. Today what I want to do is look at a different kind of movie trailer. This will be a new series in the "Have You Seen That Trailer? series. It's the Sequel Movie Trailer. I loooooove the sequel movie trailer. The trailer that lets us know, "Guess who's back? And you're not going to believe what kind of situation they've gotten themselves into this time." When I was a kid I bought into all of that. I'd be like "Guess who's back? I don't know-Tell Me! Tell Me! Why aren't you telling me!!! I need popcorn quick!!!"
I'm starting this trailer series off with what is one of the best Sequel trailers ever, Die Hard II: Die Harder. It's a teaser so it doesn't show you much but that's what makes it so frakking awesome. It shows you only what you need to know and then sends you off saying, "Now Ricky you can spend the next year or so of your 13 year old existence wondering if God exists why doesn't he give you a time machine and let you jump to the release date of this movie.". Hell God meet me half way and make Doc Brown a real person and then Doc can build the time machine. I believe we all have super powers that we just don't know about yet. I've been told on several occasions that my super power is the ability to remember when and where I saw a movie trailer. To quote a great super hero "With great power comes great responsibility." I accept the responsibility.
So let's go back in time now shall we? It was a perfect night. In the summer of '89 (the summer of '89 was one hell of a movie year but we can talk about that another time) my fat young self was convinced that if I didn't see Tango & Cash I was going to die, the world was going to end, all of our lives are in danger so someone please take me to see this movie!!! I must have still been running off the high of Stallone's performance in "Over The Top" and Kurt Russell's performance in "Big Trouble In Little China" because I was like "Excuse me? You're putting both Hawk and good ol' Jack Burton in a movie together?!? Moooommmmm! Start the car." Bless my mom because she knew when I was serious about seeing a movie. She didn't understand much English but she still took me to the movies so many times, sat right there next to me, and stared at the screen probably not knowing what the heck was going on just so her little Ricky could be happy. My mom was the best. She's the woman who took my brothers and I to see Ghostbusters at the theater. How does a woman who doesn't speak English know to take their children to go see Ghostbusters? That's a parent who wants the best for their children right there.
So on a warm Saturday night, my mom, my brother Jessie, and I hopped into our green station wagon and took a trip to the Plaza movie theaters on the border of Lincolnwood and Chicago to enjoy Tango & Cash like I believed every Latino family was doing that summer. I thought I had gone to heaven because after weeks of crying and complaining I was finally going to enjoy some Tango & Cash awesomeness but the Movie Gods had something even more special in store for me. We found our seats and the beautiful ceremony that is the lights going dark began and one of my favorite images showed up on the screen as it does to this day against a bright green background that reads "The Following Preview Has Been Approved For All Audiences". John McClane welcome back to my world. I didn't know what to do after the trailer. I enjoyed Tango & Cash but all I wanted to talk about afterwords was the trailer to Die Hard II. I'm pretty sure all I kept saying to my brother was different variations of "Can you believe they're making a part two to Die Hard?" "Dude Die Hard is going to have a part two!" "Bro its Die Hard but it's Part 2. How are they going to make him Die Harder?" I wanted to see the first Die Hard again right then and there so bad too. I wished that I could just go home and watch it and you know what! We get home from the theater and what's the late night movie on WGN? Die Hard!!! No joke. There is a God I thought and he likes to say "Yipee Ki Yay Motherfucker" too. One of the best nights of my life ever. No diggity, no doubt.
The Die Hard II trailer sets the standard for what a sequel trailer should always set out to do. It should start off by 1)keeping you in the dark as to what the movie is about. 2)Then it completely throws you back in the world of the original movie, only to 3)yank it all away from you and beg you wanting for more. This teaser trailer is able to do all of that in 1 minute and 29 seconds. Enjoy the trailer kids. I have to go see why my flight from Dulles airport is being delayed.

Is That Your Boy? M.E.T.H.O.D. Man!

"Hey You Get Off My Cloud - You don't know me and you don't know my style!"

This is a story that ran in the New York Daily News this past weekend. Who can get away from the G.O.V.E.R.N.M.E.N.T. Man? Not the Wu. Not the Meth. I'm just asking. Method Man? Is that your boy?

"Despite recent reports that the rapper is so broke that his 2008 Lincoln Navigator was repossessed to pay back taxes, Method Man — whose real name is Clifford Smith — insists his cash flow is just fine. In fact, he says, his penchant for marijuana is to blame for the mishap.
Citing the Wu Tang member for being $52,503 in arrears on his personal income taxes, the state Department of Taxation showed up at the Staten Island native’s home at 6 a.m. March 19 with “four NYPD cops and the repo team,” Meth told us. “I knew why they were there. It wasn’t like ‘Oh my God! Noo!! Don’t take it!’ like it is on that TV show [“Operation Repo”]. I was half-dressed, and it was so early that I just said, ‘Okay, you’re taking the truck. ... Aight.’”
The back story, according to the rapper, is simple.
“Myself, I’m a pothead,” he said on the set of a video shoot for his new album, “Blackout 2,” with Redman. “It’s no secret. Everyone knows that. I go on the road and forget everything else. Sure, [the tax department] sent letters to my house saying, ‘We need this money.’ They started sending them in 2002.
Here it is, 2009, and I never paid this s— because I don’t think like that!”
“I could have easily just written them a check for whatever amount, but no — I waited until they knocked on this door and were like, ‘We got your truck and we outta here,’ ” he laughed.
“Now I’m thinking we’ve gotta get our truck back, which means I have to get all my paperwork together,” the rapper continued. “That means days of going through mail, ’cause I got mail like woah.
I’ve found checks from 2005 that have never been opened yet. And we’re talking a significant amount of money! But I never opened [the tax department’s] letters ... so this is how the tax man came to Meth’s house and took his truck. Not because I was broke! I got plenty of money!”
When we referenced the famous Afroman song “Because I Got High,” Method Man just laughed. “Exactly!” he said. “Because I got high, I forgot to pay. It was stupid. I’m an idiot for that.” "

How about we go back to a time when it seemed like the Meth had it a lil' bit more together. Now excuse me while I go holler at this Tical!!!

Hey Have You Seen That New Trailer? #3

Happy Friday! Is it good to ya? I come to you straight from Nakatomi Towers with another new trailer that has shown up online. The movie is "Taking Woodstock" and it's directed by Ang Lee. The movie stars Demetri Martin (The Stand Up Comedian), Liev Schreiber, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Watchmen's Comedian!).
I was a little turned off when the trailer started and it was Demetri Martin partially doing his act to promote the movie. I don't dislike his act I just didn't want the whole trailer to be him doing bits especially when the other option is seeing Ang Lee's work. I like Ang Lee. He has no problem making a movie out of his comfort zone. Can I make a movie about a superhero? Here's the Hulk (I love the Hulk but we can talk about that another time). Can I make a movie about bad ass martial arts, love, a dragon and win an Academy Award? Well someone made The Last Dragon already but how about Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Can I make a movie with an actor (He Gone!) who would soon be in a superhero movie and win an Academy Award only this time he's playing one of two gay cowboys? Why don't you go climb Brokeback Mountain.
"Taking Woodstock" is about the events leading up to one of the greatest musical moments of our time, Woodstock. I own Woodstock on DVD. Everytime I watch Sly & The Family Stone's performance of "I Want To Take You Higher" I have a solo dance party in my living room. That's not an exaggeration. That's a fact. Ask my dog. I handle my bidness on that one. I'll be doing it tonite as a matter of fact between 7pm & 7:30pm. Come through if you want Sly to take you higher.
I hope I'm not biased when the movie comes out because I love the concert film so much. I don't want to be sitting in the theater going, "Yeah this is cool but why aren't they showing me The Who instead right now?" Which leads me to this question: How much of the concert will we actually get to see or will we see any of it at all? I really like the shot towards the end of the trailer where you see a glimpse of the whole event from the top of a hill. Moments like that where we know happened but we never saw from that angle/viewpoint are going to be fun to watch. One thing I didn't like from the trailer? The '60's credits that pop up. They remind me of the credits from Sister Hood of The Travelling Pants (I've never seen it I just heard) and That '70's Show. Another thing I didn't like-the fact that Liev Schrieber shows up in a dress and for a split second I thought "Oooh who's that?" Alright peoples let's start taking Woodstock shall we:



And here is the reason time machines need to be invented. So we could all be there for this:

Hey Have You Seen That New Where The Wild Things Are Trailer?

I love trailers. In my opinion they can get rid of all other commercials on television and just show trailers in between shows. By now most of you have seen this trailer and if you haven't you will soon enough because posts and links have been popping up everywhere for it since it showed up online yesterday. And I think that's a good thing because this one looks like the hotness kids.
The movie is "Where The Wild Things Are" and it's directed by Spike Jonze. Spike Jonze is hit or miss with me. I really liked "Being John Malkovich" when I first saw it at the Davis Theatre. I didn't care that much for "Adaptation". The performances in that one were more interesting to me than the story itself. And watching Meryl Streep play stoned? I haven't had a crush on her so much in a movie since I wanted to talk to her in "Defending Your Life". Honestly the only thing Spike Jonze has done that I think is great is his role as Conrad Vig in "Three Kings" which is a highly underrated movie.
"Where The Wild Things Are" is definately up my alley though. Big furry creatures. A parent who doesn't connect with their kid. A kid who doesn't connect with anything except big furry creatures. I'm in. After watching the trailer I wanted to go back in time and find my younger self right after I watched The Neverending Story and say, "Hey Ricky, if you thought that was cool wait till you see what's in yo' future kid?" Well take a look and see where the wild things are at son!



And how about remembering "The Neverending Story" for old times sake:

Where's N.W.A. at now?

I saw this article and my first thought wasn't one of happiness or elation. It was "Is Eazy-E spinning in his grave right now.

Click on the link below to know where Compton at!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/190871?GT1=43002

And watch below if you want to know where Compton was son!

Hey Have You Seen That New Public Enemies Trailer?

We're starting to move into my favorite season of the year. Summer Movie Trailer season. I love trailers. I love the anticipation of an upcoming movie. Remember back in '89 when you first started seeing the Batman logo all over the place and you didn't understand it but you were like "Hey I do like Batman." On billboards, bus stops, every bat-place. Then we saw the trailer and I was like "convince me again why girls are better than movies?". That trailer is brilliant.

One of the movies I'm most looking forward to this summer is Michael Mann's "Public Enemies" with Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. Depp plays Dillinger and Bale is the Po-Po out to lock him up by any means necessary. The main reason I'm excited for this one is Michael Mann. He's got a really great visual style and it's all over this trailer. Mann is all shot composition and cinematography and you get a real good sense of it in this trailer. The opening glimpses of the bank heist bring back memories of the best bank heist ever put on film in "HEAT" down to the fact that it looks like both robberies take place during the day. Depp explaining the specifics of robbing a bank also remind me of De Niro as McCauley. There's also this really cool glimpse of Depp and someone else getting on a car and holding their guns while facing opposite directions as the car speeds off. Visually it all looks there and the story is already interesting enough that this one looks like they could've knocked it out the park. Here's the trailer. What say you?

And here's the bank robbery scene from "HEAT". It's amazing. Talk to it.

What's Going On?

That is the question. What is going on? Everythang. I'm everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I'm busy, biz-zay, and feeling not busy at the same time. But here's the deelio on what's happening. I have some really awesome shows coming up and it'd be awesome to see as many people there as possible.

March 28th I will be performing at the Just For Laughs Chicago Showcase. Just For Laughs puts together the Montreal Comedy Festival. I'm excited to perform at this showcase and if all goes well hopefully I'll be asked to perform at the Just For Laughs Chicago Comedy Festival in June. The showcase is at the Beat Kitchen on March 28th at 2100 W. Belmont and starts at 8pm. Visit http://www.hahaha.com for more information about the festival.

March 29th I will be performing at the Temporary Laughter Fundraiser. This is a fundraiser that benefits the San Lucas Workers Organization in Chicago. The show is being held at The Comic Vault, 1530 W. Montrose at 5pm. The show takes place in a comic book store. It's hosted by great people and its for a great cause. Visit http://www.chicagocomicvault.com for more information about the show.

And FINALLY, El Show Latino returns April 24th & April 25th at 8pm! See un poquito de sketch con un poquito de stand up. It's a lil' bit of Saturday Night Live with a lil' bit of Sabado Gigante. And this time we have special guest straight from New York City the one and only Rich Ramirez. The show is at The Chicago Center For The Performing Arts, 777 N. Green St. Tickets are $12 and can be purchased at http://www.theaterland.com. Get your tickets now because this show will sell out.

I love you. You're awesome. Now excuse me while I go holla at LOST.

Alternate Movie Tag Lines: Titanic

This Shit Could Really Happen.

hey Hey HEY! How we doing? I've been off of work for about 2 weeks and this is the first real time I've been able to go online. My apartment is unbelievable. Ridiculous!! My apartment is where technology ceases to exist. I can't get a signal for anything in this place! I can't make a phone call, I can't get television reception, I'm surprised the lights work in this bitch! I got candles all over. I had a laptop in my living room, went to the kitchen, came back and it was an abacus! Goddamn!!!

For the past 10 days I've done nothing but watch dvd's while laid out on my blue pull-out bed/couch/sofa Transformer thing. In no particular order I've watched all of The Office (BBC version) and 2 seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm and before I move on I want to ask myself one serious question that has been bugging me since I finished watching those 2 shows in particular? What the hell was I watching on television when both of those shows were running regularly? What possible reason could I have for not having seen a full season of those shows until 2009? That's just embarrasing. I hate when I'm the guy who wants to talk about something 8 years too late. Hey did you see that episode where David Brent does the dance in front of everyone and its hilarious but then he won't stop and it's just wrong? Have you seen it? Yeah. Seven years ago when they first ran it.

Everything else that I've also watched:

The Reader (Kate Winslet. She like to get nekked and I want to go to there.)

Coming To America (Sexual Chocolate!!!)

The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy (All in one day thank you very much ladies, my name is Ricky.)

And Justice For All (We're all out of order!)

All The Presidents Men ( starring Jeremiah Johnson & Rain Man)

Black Hawk Down (I would not make it in war.)

Collateral (I thought it was the prequel to Collateral Damage).

Copland (I gave you a chance to be a cop and you blew it!)

The Exorcist (A daughter only Mom could love.)

Galaxy Quest (Underrated movie.)

Near Dark (Finger Lickin' Good!)

Spider-Man (Starring Willia-Wilemm-Wiliae-The guy from Platoon.)

The Richard Pryor Show (That N!$$@$ Crazy!)

Gone Baby Gone (A daughter only a Coke-head Mom could love.)

Inside Moves (I thought it was the sexy sequel to Inside Man.)

Kill Bill 1 & 2 ( Uma Thurman can kick my ass anytime she want. Hello Uma, my name's Ricky.)

The Pervert's Guide To Cinema (Not what you think.)

Superman Returns (This movie should've stayed.)

All in all good times everybody. Hopefully I'll be able to get online more often in the next coming days. If not just look for the smoke signals I'll be broadcasting shortly.