Alternate Movie Tag Line: Sex & The City 2!

This one's for all the ladies out there. With a Jennifer Hudson Dreamgirls roar, "I'm talking to you! And you! And you girl! Not you! And you over there, yeah girl you too, hey girl! Yep! For you as well!".

Don't Sleep On The BlakRok.

Don't do what I did. Do. Not. Sleep. On. BlakRok. What or who is BlakRok? Talk to this:



Yep. That's The Black Keys playing backup instrumentals with the following MC's on the mic:

Ol' Dirty Bastard & Ludacris
Mos Def
NOE
RZA & Pharoah Monch
Nicole Wray
Raekwon
Jim Jones
Q-Tip, Billy Danze, & Nicole Wray

Check out BlakRok.com for some in studio sessions with all of the guest's listed above. Here's one with the RZA in studio with the Black Keys:



Q-Tip in studio with the Black Keys:




Talk to that kids. Talk to that.

(Big Ups to K-Rock for waking me up to this. Big Ups Girl!)

Snoop. Vader. Adidas.

Snoop D-O-double G in a galaxy far, far, away? Nope. He's just in New York. Kickin' it with Darth Vader and some Storm Troopers. You know, bustin' out their brand new shoes n'shit. Just another day in the NYC.

Happy Ash Wednesday!

Happy Ash Wednesday from one of our greatest heroes of all, Ash.

Brilliant Idea #187 - The Fat Tuesday Edition!

Behold above. What you see above are the combined ingredients to the greatest invention known to man since the wheel, the pulled off the market too soon Seth Brundle telepod, and most recently, the Bluray player. Those are the ingredients to the McRib. If you're like me you've struggled constantly with the internal questions: "Will this ever be topped?", "Can it be improved upon?", and the age old "Can you really McShit yourself after McEating one?" I'm here to tell you that the answer to all of these questions is a resounding emphatic, "Ya' goddamn right hell yeah!!!" Allow myself to introduce to yourself, "The McRiBacon!":

Above image removed due to health code violation.

I already hear the questions. "What is The McRiBacon!?". "Where can I pay for The McRiBacon's! services?" "What comes on The McRiBacon!?". There! That is the most important question. What comes on it? Well allow Iself--allow meself---allow me to---Alright here you go:

1. One layer of crispy cooked bacon lines the lower portion of a tasty sliced French toasted garlic bread bun.
2. Another layer of that bacon is gonna get all on top of that French bread son.
3. Now bow down to the McRib McPork McPatty (with defined grilled marks on said patty) along with the traditional accoutrement's of 3 sliced pickles and grilled onions.
4. Another layer of bacon BAM!
5. Remember that naughty French bun you were hollering at earlier? Lookout that bitch is back on the top now!
6. Aaaaah, like an angel descends from the crystal blue sky above us so does another layer of crispy frakkin' hot ass smoky bacon float down and descend on the top of your bun son!
7. Then it's dipped in a platinum champagne bucket filled to the brim with traditional McRib sauce orijinal.
8. Now put it in ya' mouf son. Hey I said put it in ya' mouf!!! Hmmmm. Sho' ya' right.

There you are Americans. Just as Moses ascended the rooftops during the Civil War and set the Olympians free so now do I tell you to take off them chains and live your life to the fullest with the glory of The McRiBacon!.

For a special unlimited time pay an extra 8 bucks and you will receive your very own customized tongs and personalized platinum champagne bucket so you can dip, dunk, and alley-oop that bad boy into your McChampagne McRibBaconBucket as much as you want at the comfort of your own chair.

3 things to note when eating The McRiBacon!:

1. The McRiBacon! can only be eaten while listening to "Bustin' Loose" by Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers:



2. The McRiBacon! is a dine in item only due primarily to public health code violations but more importantly for maximum enjoyment it can only be eaten in the "Court's Chamber!" dining room(**). Here you will be fitted and dressed as a judge before you take your seat at your own personal chamber table so that no one can judge you while you eat. Instead you get to judge all those who deny themselves the glory of The McRiBacon!. In ya' mouf.

(**surgeons are always on duty in the "Court's Chamber!")

3. You only receive the McChampagne McRibBaconBucket when ordered as its full Christian name. No abbreviations are allowed when ordering.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Daaaaaaaaeeeeeeeey!

Hey Have You Seen The New Last Airbender Trailer?

M. Night, M. Night, M. Night. It saddens me to admit that I have given up on you even though you've made one of my favorite movies ever Unbreakable. Why did I give up on you? Because you also made a movie that made me furious while I was watching it in the theater, The Village. You might have lost the ability to make me go see one of your movies but I always seem to love watching the trailers to your movies and this one is no exception. This is the trailer to The Last Airbender which is going to run during the SuperBowl this Sunday. The Last Airbender arrives in theaters this summer.



My favorite M. Night Shyamalan trailer and movie Unbreakable:

Hip Hop Mathematics

1) If you were to listen to the RZA's lyrics and break them down you'd realize he's 50% Blunt Inspired Madness and 50% Mathematical Equations which equals him being:

the hip hop version of Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now.

2) How long before this guy:

evolves into this guy?

Approximately 100 earth years.

3) Did you know if you watch Ice Cube's Are We There Yet?:


while listening to his verse from Burn Hollywood Burn,



the time space continuum is forever altered and Ice Cube will suffer the same fate as Ron Silver in TimeCop.



End of lesson.

Hey Have You Seen The Losers Trailer?

Did somebody watch the trailer for the A-Team and think, "This is how it should be done."? Based on those two trailers I'm leaning towards The Losers winning-Zinga!***

Best moments in this trailer:

1) "I'm the black MacGuyver. BlackGuyver!"
2) Every shot of Zoe Saldana.

Does anyone else agree that anytime someone from The Wire get's cast in a movie they should play their character from The Wire? You put Idris Elba in this as Stringer Bell and I'm writing the check out for my ticket right now. Hell I'd own Obsessed if it starred Beyonce and Stringer Bell. Who's with me! Just me, damn.

The Losers arrives in theaters on April 9, 2010.



***That's the worst joke I'll write today.

Today's Soundtrack....

Today's soundtrack is brought to you by The Godfather of Soul...