Monday, May 10, 2010

Brilliant Idea #263 - The "Taste's Like Candy" Edition.

And this commercial goes a little something like this. And it's to be imagined in black and white until instructed otherwise.

Interior kitchen.

MOM is taking lunch off of the kitchen table from her SON.

SON: Mommy!

MOM: Yes Jethro?

SON: I want some candy for dessert!

MOM: You got it Jethro.

In an explosion of color onscreen MOM turns around and reveals:

Big Nuts


And then wiith the stroke of genius that was born of The Velvet Underground's "Walk On The Wild Side" the actual fucking never imitated never duplicated well sung about colored girls appear in a row next to MOM wearing purple sequin dresses and sunglasses and sing :

SINGERS: They taste great in ya mouf!

SON holds up:

Big Nuts


SON: That's where these are going!

MOM: That's where they belong Jethro. I can't wait for your father to come home so he can have some of my Big Nuts.

JETHRO: I can’t wait for their new "Extra Hairy Flavor".

MOM and JETHRO smile with Big Nuts in their mouths and hands.


Then your television explodes in your living room in a drowning flash of Pulp Fiction briefcase golden light and you can't tell what the hell just happened until you look down and see a bag of cotton candy on your table called Pink Titties.


And that's how you sell sweets motherfuckers.

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